Very rarely do I write a “blog” on my tumblr. Heck, I’m not even sure I’ve written one in the time I’ve had this tumblr of two years. But not much seems to change in all my myspace, xanga, tumblr, blogspot, etc journal writing entries. If it’s ever anything to talk about, it’s about how lonely I feel at the end of the day. It’s one thing to have another half/significant other. He’s my best friend and that will never change. Even if I feel lonely, he’ll make it better.
Having said that, I’ve come to the conclusion that girl best friendships just aren’t in the cards for me. Since I was a little girl, I’ve dreamed of having a best friend I could do anything with. Just us. I’ve dreamed of having a friend that moves away and texts me at least once or twice a week to tell me what’s going on in their lives or just because. I’ve dreamed of having a friend who, no matter where they go or what friends they make, they’ll always be my number one and I’ll always be theirs. That they’ll remember (not forget) to include me in things even if other important people are in their lives.
It’s a lot to ask for, but I see it all around me. I’m blessed enough as it is with my boyfriend and the girl friends in my life. But if other people have them, why don’t I? Is their something wrong with me? I get that I’m awkward, reserved, and often times shy. Still, it’s an aching feeling that hurts sometimes, and I just have to remember that either it’s too late to build a friendship like that or I just need to move on. Either way, it will still be painful and hard to swallow. I just hope one day, my son or daughter finds a best friend, because I believe every person wants, needs, and especially deserves one in their life to share their happiness, sorrows, or just a “Hey, I’m thinking of you still” moment.